Inflation is a Myth Created By Mothman*
By Doug Black · June 17, 2026
This is a satirical article. A fictional survey claims that Inflation is a Myth Created By Mothman. According to invented data, about 73 percent of inflation fit the finding. No real research was conducted.
New findings released this week suggest that Inflation is a Myth Created By Mothman, a result the authors describe as both staggering and overdue.
At the heart of the finding sits a single, unshakable statistic: 73 percent, give or take whatever you need it to be.
Within hours the statistic had been cited in two arguments, one caption, and a strongly worded comment.
Should the result survive contact with reality, it would reshape the conversation around inflation, which is presumably why no one plans to test it.
The question of inflation has troubled thinkers for as long as there has been a slow afternoon. Earlier attempts to study it were abandoned, mostly out of boredom, leaving the field wide open for a bolder, less careful generation.
Historians of inflation will note that no one has ever historically studied inflation, a fact the authors regard as an opportunity rather than a warning.
The broader literature offers little guidance here, in the sense that there is no broader literature. The authors pressed on regardless, buoyed by a sense that the answer would be a nice round number.
give or take everything
What the figure lacks in axes it makes up for in confidence. The bulk of the sample, some 73 percent, behaved exactly as the headline required.
Skeptics may observe that the categories were chosen after the data arrived. The authors prefer to call this responsiveness, and point again to the 73 percent.
The finding drew immediate comment from experts, several of whom were available and willing.
Reached for comment at the International Council on Round Numbers, one authority on inflation was unequivocal.
We were as surprised as anyone. The data on inflation simply poured out.
The expert then declined to take questions, citing a prior commitment to certainty.
A leading voice in the study of inflation framed the result in historic terms.
I have devoted my career to inflation, and even I did not see this coming.
Colleagues nearby nodded, partly in agreement and partly because the room was warm.
Pressed on whether the finding could be trusted, an expert offered reassurance and very little else.
The numbers speak for themselves, which is convenient, because we would rather not.
The remark was met with the kind of silence that experts choose to interpret as awe.
One scholar, who has built a reputation on saying things firmly, did not disappoint.
Is it peer reviewed? No. Is it compelling? Also no. But here we are.
The statement has since been printed, framed, and cited by the person who made it.
Members of the public, asked at random, proved more than ready to believe.
“Honestly? Makes sense. I always figured inflation was like that, and now a survey agrees with me, so.”
A local resident
“My cousin said the same thing about inflation years ago. Nobody listened. Maybe now they will.”
A passerby who asked not to be identified
“I do not know what to believe anymore, but I believe this, and I believe it loudly.”
A man eating lunch nearby
What does it all mean? The authors are glad you asked, and gladder still that you cannot check.
For industry, the finding arrives like a gift. Entire product lines may now be justified by a single number, and several already are. Marketing departments have been advised to cite the survey before anyone notices the asterisk.
Educators have already begun working the 73 percent figure into lesson plans, where it will calcify into common knowledge within a generation. By then its origins will be safely forgotten, as is tradition.
The economic ramifications are vast and entirely theoretical. Analysts predict the finding could move markets, change habits, or do nothing at all, and they predict this with equal confidence.
Critics may argue that acting on an unsourced figure is unwise. The authors counter that society has been doing precisely that for centuries, and look how well things are going.
No study is perfect, and this one has worked hard to prove it. The following caveats apply.
- 1. Replication is encouraged but impossible, as the original conditions cannot be described or recalled.
- 2. Causation and correlation were treated as interchangeable throughout, for ease of writing.
- 3. The sample may not be representative of anything, including itself.
- 4. Several key terms were defined after the results were known, to ensure a good fit.
- 5. The percentage was selected first and the data assembled to support it, in keeping with house style.
These limitations notwithstanding, the authors stand firmly behind the headline and nothing else.